A Date With A Federal Agent

A date with a federal agent

Well the date with The Fed started out good—he cleaned up nicely and looked really good when I first saw him waiting for me outside the bar. I wouldn’t let him pick me up. :)

I was all gross and sweaty from hauling ass there and once we sat I excused myself to the bathroom to go fix my make up and as I am heading there I am getting totally checked out by this group of guys—listen I am not being conceited I’m just stating the facts—I quickly avoid eye contact and and keep heading to the bathroom DAMN IT! Why doesn’t this happen when I am with my girlfriends?!??! lol

Anywho I head back to the table and we order drinks, and food—well he got food all I wanted was some guacamole and chips—the waitress comes back to inform me they are all out of guacamole I said “that is like being out of ketchup” Oh did I mention we were in a Mexican bar/restaurant?!?!??! Anyway I just said that was fine and continued to drink my sangria.

We talked for quite a bit—he loves his job and I got to hear alot of really cool stories, but I must say I felt like when he asked me something, I would be answering and he would comment so quickly on what I was saying I just felt like it was more “hurry up and finish talking so I can start again!” It was kind of annoying….after sharing some same viewpoints on certain issues he says “let’s go across the street for another drink” In all honesty I was happy ending the date there, but he’s the kind of guy that you could tell would have his feelings hurt if I even said that so I went along with it.

We go to the next bar and as I walk in this guy looks at me and goes “woa!” Ok you know what I am gonna start wearing this outfit more often!!! I grabbed a table and The Fed got us drinks. We talked about nothing at all and some girls came over and talked to us about nothing at all and then he puts his arm around me and kind of kisses me and I make it like a quick smooch and say “I don’t make out in public-sorry!” After 2 drinks we head out and at this point I kind of need him to drive me home because there is a rapist in my neighborhood they are looking for and it was after midnight.

So we get in his car which I must say was pretty freakin’ cool, and when we got to my place I had him pull over in a no parking spot and I went to kiss him good-bye . You know the kiss could tell me everything I was questioning and ummm yeah it did.

The dude is pulling my hair—like hard—not in a turn me on way, very aggressively making out and within like 2 seconds he’s up my shirt—ok highschool. I pull back and say “woa! easy there”
Then all of the sudden he says “Let me go find a parking spot”
I go”why? that is definitely not necessary” and said I had to go.

I got out of the car and since I had a pretty good buzz going on I didn’t really wrap my head around the whole thing until the next day and I was COMPLETELY skeeved out.
Who goes up your shirt these days? Do ya just need to feel a boob? Like what is it I don’t get it?!?!?


So ewwwwwwwwwwwww the guy creeped me out and text me all day Friday, he wanted me to meet him for a drink, since he was out with his friends 3 blocks from my place, I told him I was dying from the night before and didn’t think it was such a good idea.

ok ick! what do I tell him?
In a weird way part of me wants to go out with him one more time and just tell him—if it’s gonna happen it will, no need to be so aggressive and all up my shirt. My friend said “do you just want to verify one more time that he is a total sleeze??? ” lol—yeah good point.

What a disppointment, I thought a Fed would be all Rico Suave, well that guy was kind of sleazy so I guess he was….ha ha ha !

Follow Up:

The Fed called last night…we made a bunch of small talk and he says “What are you doing Wed?”
I said I was not sure and asked what was up
He said “I want to take you out again”
I said “I am unsure I have to play by ear this is a crazy week…work is super busy and I have a wedding Saturday that I have to run errands for in the week”
He says “Is this wedding THAT big of a deal?”
I said “yes to me it is “

I then say “not to mention my baby has been sick the past 2 days”
He says “your vibrator?”
I said “WHAT???????”
He repeats” your vibrator? it was a joke!”
I go “umm yeah—no….my dog… ok well I have to go I will let you know about Wed”
He said I should make time or it will be a strike against me
I informed him he already had a strike so we’d be even…..he kept asking me what I meant and I told him I would talk to him about it Wed.

OK you freak! Why the vibrator comment????
Did I talk about sex at all with you? NO!
did I mention my arsenal of toys? NO!
have I at all indicated that I would even THINK about talking to you about that kind fo stuff? NO!
so he has now crossed the line into total sleeze and has officially made me completely uncomfortable.
I will be calling him today and letting him know I will not be going out on that 2nd date with him…EVER!